The revolutionary road:weighing the options...

Well it's the name of a movie if u know, but the idea is so near to my own life, perhaps, projecting it i can say that it's the same for everybody, hwever 'm only definite about my own case.Where 'm i heading, i've pushed as far as i could go, and it's not enough. I really don't feel the connection between me and my work, it's interesting as far as it is psychiatry but the fact that it's medicine too makes it one of the most boring thing for me. Innumerable times i've thought of going back and starting from the scratch, what holds me back..is it the time..it's too late...or is it the fear inside me of extreme failure if i drop everything, whatever it is, but something's keeping me stuck here, perhaps it is a safety or the insurance of a very "normal life" which is holding me from going back or rather from moving ahead.BUT one thing is for sure that i don see myself always doin' this stuff, always pushing... or if i do, i don see myself exploring my potential ever, i'm not doing good here cause i don' desire to do good here.sometimes such seemingly ridiculous thoughts come in my mind as leaving everything and joining a roadside animation course or something, or even sometimes a thought that since all's wasted, go for charity, but who knows, whether now i'd be able to do anything there, that's the fear and i really believe firmly that nobody and PERFECTLY NOBODY can have the courage to push me and make me do what i SHOULD do.i know that just because the things "are" going this way doesn't mean that they "should" go this way. my mind has stopped thinking, i've become a poor machine or something, i'm hurt by myself,perhaps i've lost, i'm stuck...